October 31, 2007
Women On The Run

"Life after college: Young women adjust to responsibilities of the working world"

By Karyn D. Collings
Staff Writer

Kaajia Bruck is having a typical morning at the office. The e-mails, telephone calls from clients and Blackberry messages never stop. There are boxes of beauty products to unload for gift bags she'll help to stuff for an event being run by her company, Alison Brod Public Relations in New York City.

Her afternoon will include meetings with clients. And Bruck has the office cold. But when she meets with her clients, she'll be polished and pulled together because, well, that's what grown folks do.

Welcome to the real world.

At 26, Bruck, who grew up in Rumson, knows this is just the way things are in the real world.

"It's a big difference from college. It's a different lifestyle. Even though you had stress in college, this is different. You're working every day, you're earning a living, you're paying bills," she says. "You have responsibilities you didn't have when you were just a kid in college. You're at the office now. You're not a kid."

It's that R word - responsibility - that makes the biggest difference between college life and the real world, say other 20-somethings. "It's not just being responsible, it's the whole reliability factor," says Kate Meritzis, 28, an employment counselor at Barbara Davis Employment Services in Red Bank. "I've always been a responsible person, but now you just feel differently. You start thinking about things like how late you stay up during the week because you have to go in the next morning and no one cares if you're tired. "In college you think you'll have this great job and this great night life out every night. That changes completely when you get out there. The reality is your nights during the week will be running errands if you don't have to work nights, and that's about it."

Chaz Kyser, who published her own career guide for young women, "Embracing the Real World: The Black Woman's Guide to Life After College" ($14.99), says it's the mundane realities of the word world that make for the hardest adjustment.

"It's adjusting to the fact that you're working for a living now. You may still have your parents to fall back on, but the goal now is to be self-sufficient. Now you're working to support yourself, to eat, to have a roof over your head, to have the things you want," says Kyser, whose book covers issues relevant for workers, regardless of race. "You've had a summer job, but now it's fall and it's dawning on people - all the realities. It's sinking in now, the whole 9 to 5 (routine). They're realizing that this is it. And you can't just quit because your boss upsets you or you're bored. Now you have to make it work if you're going to make a living."

For those entering the word world right out of high school, the adjustment can be even more of a jolt.

"The biggest difference for students coming right out of high school is the independence. When you're in high school, you still have a guidance counselor tracking you, you have teachers who are on top of things and, perhaps, will guide you," says Stacy Liss, clinical supervisor of a school-based youth service program at Red Bank Regional High School in Little Silver. "In the workplace, you're expected to be independent. The expectations are different. In school, if you're absent a lot of failing you get a letter. In the workplace, there is no warning a lot of times. You'll just be fired. So it's those types of things that can make the adjustment tough."

Of course, workplace realities are only part of the challenge for those just out of school.

"Part of it for me was the little realities outside of the office - handling my bills, making sure I pay my bills on time, and just dealing with my time after work," says Tara Fantini, 23, an account manager at Jewell Marketing Associates in Asbury Park. "Things slow down a lot compared to college. It's something I really didn't expect. On campus, there's always something goin on. But after work and on weekends I was like, 'Wow, what do I do now?'"

Fantini's solution: working out at a gym.

"I needed a hobby. Now I go about two hours every night. It's just something I can get involved in so I'm not just sitting at home. It also helps me be able to wind down after work. You can't just be about work. And you can't just spend all your free time watching TV or shopping. You have to create a life for yourself."

"Advice from the experts"
By Karyn D. Collins
Staff Writer

The job candidates who wear flip-flops, the young women with cleavage-baring outfits, the rookies who emulate the wrong people in the office, the newbies who ignore the unwritten rules of the office or industry.

Bosses have seen it all.

Here, they offer advice to young women just starting out.

"Think of your first job as a learning experience. You don't know it all. Listen. Observe what is going on. Be aware of what you're doing on the clock; turn the cell phone off. Don't dress like characters you see on television. Miniskirts and cleavage are inappropriate. Watch your language. Remember, you're projecting the image of your employer, so use proper English grammar. Have excellent work ethics - that means showing up on time. Show your employer you can be trusted. Look at people in the office who are respected and follow what they do, how they carry themselves, how they work."

-Barbara Davis, President, Barbara Davis Employment Services, Red Bank

"Know the boundaries about what is appropriate. Take the time to get to know the culture of the organization. Cleavage may be in but it's not in when you're on the job. Realize that everybody is replaceable. Don't expect to be taken care of or be able to cut corners or get away with things. It doesn't matter if you see other people doing it. You're new, don't do it."

-Stacy Liss, clinical supervisor, school-based youth service program, Red Bank Regional High School, Little Silver

"Some advice applies for every young woman. Be aware of what's going on around you. Observe how things work in your office and watch out for office politics. Be aware that you will still have to deal with issues of sex discrimination. Be willing to take risks. For black women, they're dealing with all of these things plus they have to be aware that they may be discriminated against because of their ethnicity. They need to be aware of how something like a hairstyle may affect how they are perceived."

-Chaz Kyser, author, "Embracing the Real World: The Black Woman's Guide to Life After College"

"I can't recall the source, but this particular secret for success involved the choice of whom to marry. You know the expression, 'Behind every great man, there is a great woman'? Well, it is equally important, maybe even more so, to have a supportive husband. The right mate is an asset, not an obstacle to career and personal success. The wrong mate can destroy a career, make a woman miserable and financially devastate her as well as the family. Don't marry without very carefully and objectively first determining if the prospective spouse will help you achieve your goals and dreams."

-Carol Ann Hafner, public relations director, Brookdale Community College, Middletown